Learn about self-care flow, and how to get the most out of your attempts at self-care.
A Lesson on Flow
Truth be told, I had a hard time figuring out what filled me up during my attempts at self-care.
And this always felt weird to me. How am I this disconnected from myself that I don’t know what makes me tick? Everybody loves baths, a massage, and a glass of wine. But after a bubble bath or a boozy spa evening, I would consistently ask myself: why do I still feel exhausted? Why don’t I feel any better?
I hadn’t found what really made me flow.
Now, you may be wondering – what’s flow? Flow is a state where you are so invested in an enjoyable activity that time flies and you leave the activity feeling invigorated and refreshed. It’s a term often used in business, but I believe it applies to all areas of life.
Take someone who loves painting. That person can paint for hours and hours, forgetting about the world and losing track of time, and they’re just flowing. There is nothing on Earth they’d rather be doing.
What Self-Care Flow is NOT
Story time: I have been an equestrian for essentially my entire life. For as long as I can remember, I have been heavily involved in riding lessons, spent countless hours at the barn, and dreamt of owning my own horse again one day. After college and a brief equi-hiatus, I went back to weekly lessons and it was amazing… kind of.
You see, riding horses in and of itself was wonderful. What was messing up my flow was the constant pressure to compete, to jump higher jumps, and to spend more money leasing my own horse or riding more often when my budget was tighter than ever (note: these were all pressures I was putting on myself!).
If I do something, I do it 100%, but I couldn’t do it that way in that season of life.
One day, I was reflecting on this problem and realized I wanted riding to be my self-care, but it just wasn’t. It caused me significant anxiety and I would feel relief when I would cancel my lesson. This is NOT flow.
Will I keep riding? Yes. But I’ll need to balance it with self-care, not rely on it for self-care. Do you have anything in your life that makes you feel this way?
The Fix is Fun!
So, what do you do? The fix involves a lot of self-reflection and trial and error. Since my riding realization (and honestly, getting pregnant which forced me to try other things that are slightly less dangerous… read more on that here), I have been experimenting with various ways for me to reset and recharge.
My biggest advice here is: stop focusing on what you wish self-care looked like for you and start to notice what is already self-care for you. Trust me, if you really start to think about what makes you flow, you’ll soon discover your ideal self-care routine was right in front of you the whole time.
What’s already working in your self-care routine, and what self-care routines are you ready to chuck?
Want some ideas?
Check out my post of 25 Self-Care Ideas for Moms! Spoiler alert: you don’t have to be a mom to try them out.
Leave a comment or send me a message through the contact page to let me know!
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